Your Game of Thrones Relationship Evaluator


Winter came - so there are some SPOILERS!!! If you aren’t caught up, stop reading! As the record breaking show progressed, we’ve seen a number of GoT relationships grow and change. As experts in relationships we’re going to break down the core functionality and disfunctionality of some of the best ones, so you can figure out where your relationships fit in.



Cersei and Jamie - We’re going to assume that no one reading this is actually in a deeply incestual relationship. Speaking of incest, do you know that in 26 states you can legally marry your first cousin? Only in 6 of them, do you have to explain why. That means in 20 states you can just get married to your cousin without any questions. Anyway…the core aspect of this relationship is that you will do anything for each other. You’ll move heaven and earth to be with each other and your passion extends beyond understanding. And if you’re going to die, you’ll do it in each others arms, even if one is gilded.

Tyrion and Sansa - Again, we need to throw out the whole “my family killed your father” bit, unless of course that’s happened to you. Tyrion is arguably the most noble of Lannisters, ignoring his tendency to hire prostitutes and drink heavily. While married to Sansa, he did not sleep with Shae, and did not force himself onto Sansa as was, after all, fairly customary in those times. She wanted nothing to do to with him, yet he maintained his vows and duties. This relationship falls into the “we stayed together for the kids” area.

Jon and Dany - They started out adversarial. Two high powered, high profile characters defending what they thought was right. Eventually, they came to understand and respect each other. One comes from ice and the other from fire. This is truly the opposites attract relationship. We have to follow Dany’s advice here, and forget that they are related. Looking strictly at chemistry, they’ve started hot and heavy but things quickly fizzled, as sleeping with your aunt/nephew tends to do. Dany crossed a line that, despite the love and being family, Jon could not overlook. Knife to the heart, literally and figuratively. Sometimes these volatile relationships, even with the best intentions, lead to a violent divorce.


Missandei and Grey Worm - This is the classic office romance. Two people working closely together in a high stress environment start to catch feelings. It’s awkward at first, as they start to discover their mutual interest, and eventually buds into a full fledged romance. They’re the couple we all love to love, the Jim and Pam of GoT. Until, Missandei lost her head. Grey Worm’s only weakness turned into a blinding rage. When fury like this hits, logic goes out the window. This is the definition of a relationship where both parties lose themselves in the other, and when it’s done, you don’t know who you are any more.

Arya and Gendry - The sexual tension has been heavy since they reunited. Although their initial relationship seemed purely platonic, their bond has deepened as they’ve aged, culminating with a pre-Apocalypse one night stand. Since our sig-ots should be our best friends, sometimes it makes sense to have a friendship as a base. However, Gendry read more into their encounter than Arya did, and now that friendship may be ruined. Always the downside of getting together with a friend. This is the one-night-stand with a close friend….awkward…


Out of the bedroom and into the “office.”

Cersei and Jamie - We’ve all experienced this type of relationship. To start, you’re both on the same page every step of the way. Willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to get what you want, but eventually you start to see the world and the market differently. Priorities change, markets change, and relationships can change. What would have helped them? Sitting down and discussing long term, and short term plans together. Instead Cersei worked in the shadows, and Jamie ran headfirst into any potential battle. Even in the end, they disagreed. It was a business relationship turned sour, in which there was no coming back from.


Sansa and Littlefinger - Littlefinger set the tone for all of his business relationships when he said that he should never be trusted. Littlefinger was playing coy and innocent most of the time with Sansa, while secretly planning and scheming behind her back. Sansa, on the otherhand, was young an naive. As she matured, she learned how untrustworthy he truly was. Overtime they became a power duo, able to countermove any of their competition. However, it’s hard to have two alphas. Valar Morghulis.


Jon and Davos - The key to this relationship is respect. Davos met Jon before they started working together and quickly earned the respect of Davos. As time went by, Jon respected Davos’ counsel. Business relationships built on mutual respect are some of the best foundations that we can ask for. Through thick and thin they always had each other’s backs and believed in each other. They seemed like Apple’s two Steve’s only without the deep seeded issues that bubbled up overtime.


Dany and Jorah - This one falls a bit into the unrequited office romance. Jorah definitely had a thing for Dany and she used it to her advantage. A bit like Jon and Davos, this relationship was built over mutual respect, however, the big wrench here was Jorah’s betrayal. When trust is broken, all of the other good aspects of your relationship also take a hit, and clearly Jorah had to go through a lot of earn his way back into his boss’ good graces, ultimately sacrificing himself for his partner and Queen.


Brienne and Jamie - The office friendship, turned romance, turned one of you quitting. Their relationship started out pure. They both seemed to rub off on each other a bit and end up a little better for it. Over time, they clearly respected and would sacrifice for each other. One night, one thing leads to another, and their relationship has changed forever. Soon thereafter, the relationship takes a quick 180 when Jamie basically quits and becomes to same old jackass everyone thought he always was.

The Takeaway

Now, just to reiterate: we’re not suggesting you use any of these relationships as models for your own but by taking the 30,000 foot view on Westerosi relationships, you might be able to gain a little insight into your own, both personally and professionally. Remember, this was just a show, and this is just meant to be a lighthearted interpretation of one of our culture’s most sensational characters. If you happen to find yourself in a Brienne and Jamie, or a Tyrion and Sansa, don’t fret. Your life isn’t scripted from the mind of GRRM. Make your own Season 8!